How to Win Friends and Influence Enemies: Taking On Liberal Arguments with Logic and Humor

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Charles Manson used what he learned from the book in prison to manipulate women into killing on his behalf. [27]

The 1981 edition of How to Win Friends and Influence People is broken into the following parts: "Twelve Things This Book Will Do For You", "Fundamental Techniques in Handling People", "Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking", and "Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment". The 1936 edition also contained "Letters That Produced Miraculous Results" and "Seven Rules for Making Your Home Life Happier". [ citation needed] The thing is, I don't want to win friends and influence people. I want to avoid people and take long solitary walks. I don't want to influence anyone because I am a bad influence. My tactic for gaining friends is very simple. Welcome the disagreement. If the other person is raising a point we haven’t considered, we can be thankful it’s brought to our attention. It may save us from making a mistake. The most common criticism lodged at this book is that it teaches manipulation, not genuine friendship. Well, I agree that this book doesn’t teach how to achieve genuine intimacy with people. A real friendship requires some self-expression, and self-expression is not part of Carnegie’s system. As another reviewer points out, if you use this mindset to try to get real friends, you’ll end up in highly unsatisfying relationships. Good friends aren't like difficult customers; they are people you can argue with and vent to, people who you don't have to impress. And for the most part, I have to agree with Carnegie. I like this book. Its advice and suggestions are totally useful and effective. We tend to consider ourselves living in grim times, what with the wars, crumbling economy, job losses, and uncertain future, why not have a little possitivity and engaged enthusiasm for our fellow man?Mr. Doe, I have listened to your story and I still don’t believe you intend to move. I sized you up when I first met you as being a man of your word. Take a few days to think it over, and if you still intend to move, I will accept your decision as final.” However, this situation could easily be reversed by changing the word “but” to “and.” See how different it sounds: “We’re really proud of you, Billy, for getting better grades this semester, and if you continue your efforts next semester, your math grade can be up with all the others.” Observe simple courtesy when dealing with people. Words like ‘please’, ‘may I’, ‘thank you’ and ‘I am sorry’ can do a world of good in our dealing with people. If you want to improve a person in a certain aspect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.

If you choose another internal candidate for the job, tell the one who didn’t get the job that you felt he was too important to the organization in his current role to reassign him. People usually have two reasons for doing things -- one that sounds good, and the real one. A person will recognize on his own the real reason he does something. We don’t need to point it out. But all of us, being idealists at heart, like to think of motives that sound good. Before How to Win Friends and Influence People was released, the genre of self-help books had an ample heritage. [ citation needed] Authors such as Orison Swett Marden and Samuel Smiles had enormous success with their self-help books in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. [ citation needed] Since the original release, examples and stories used in the books were adjusted to remain more relevant. Newer editions have only 4 parts to the book, including "Fundamental Techniques in Handling People", "Six Ways to Make People Like You", "How to Win People to Your way of Thinking", and "Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment". [6] Origins [ edit ]Cuando lees este libro sientes la curiosidad de practicar lo que te propone el autor, y lo mejor es que puedes hacerlo en cualquier situación cotidiana de tu vida: Desde hablar con un niño para que te obedezca, o hablar con tu jefe para pedirle un aumento. Este libro puede ayudarte, como su título lo dice, a influir sobre las personas, pero a pesar de ello no encontrarás consejos de cómo manipular a las personas, o aprovecharte de ellos. No. Lo que encontrarás será un libro que te hará entender que sí deseas que alguien te siga, o «te haga caso», debes preocuparte por su bienestar y no solo por el tuyo. Influir sanamente en los demás comprende un intercambio equivalente para ambas partes. For example, most people aim to be responsible, fair, wise, and diligent. Work these ideas in when you mention to your son that you know he’s extremely responsible about his chores, so you were surprised to see that he didn’t make his bed this morning or when you tell your boss that you respect his fairness when it comes to deciding who deserves a promotion. You might even ask the other person for permission to share your perspective on the matter, which readies the other person to listen to your ideas in a less critical mindset. In a series of short chapters, Carnegie lays out a philosophy of human interaction. The tenets of this philosophy are very simple. People are selfish, prideful, and sensitive creatures. To get along with people you need to direct your actions towards their egos. To make people like you, compliment them, talk in terms of their wants, make them feel important, smile big, and remember their name. If you want to persuade somebody, don’t argue, and never contradict them; instead, be friendly, emphasize the things you agree on, get them to do most of the talking, and let them take credit for every bright idea. Really the gist of everything this book talks about is just that you need to put yourself in the place of the person you need to win over. What do they want? <--probably recognition and compensation. What would they like to hear? <--praise over what they've done well will likely go a long way to smoothing over any hurt feeling when you discuss what you would like them to do differently.

Start a conversation by discussing the things on which you agree. Keep your opponent saying “Yes, yes” at the outset. The more “yeses” you can induce at the outset, the more likely you are to succeed in capturing the attention of our ultimate proposal. Crusader says: I know very little else... The High General chooses who may go and who must stay behind. There's nothing else... You must believe me! Crusader says: We... We have only been told that the "Crimson Dawn" is an awakening. You see, the Light speaks to the High General. It is the Light...Listen first. We can give our opponents a chance to talk without interrupting, and let them finish without resisting, defending, or debating. Distrust your first instinctive impressions: Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not at your best.